


the things you told me

by NotAStan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Fluff, but i was thinking of verkwan, from hobis pov, from jin's pov, i debated it being namjin, im sorry, its really cute at first but then i had to do this, lapslock, literally could be any pairing from any group, no names used at all, rlly fluffy and then rlly sad real quick, seungkwan in the writers perspective, someone else thought of it being yoonseok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 11:35:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12232017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAStan/pseuds/NotAStan
Summary: we went through the years and fell in love with the moments passing by. we were in our prime and our love raged wild. these are the things you told me until that moment in which i was truly alone.//a collection of moments of ten years passing by.





	the things you told me

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry

we were sixteen when you looked me in the eyes and said you thought i was different from the others. it was then that you asked me out.  
i said yes, to nobody's surprise, and we were official within the week. months went by and it was always as if it was the first date, i was never bored with you, although you seemed to think i was.

we were seventeen when you kissed me as normal, but pulled back and told me you thought you loved me. i was shocked, but i knew that this was as close to love as i had ever felt. we agreed that we were still young and didn't know much but had something special together.

when we were eighteen, we graduated from that big school where we met. we went out for dinner, your family and mine, and didn't leave with them, we didn't come home until one in the morning, smelling of smoke and alcohol but happy from the good time we had with our friends. that's when you told me we were going to the different colleges.  
i cried that night. i cried myself right to sleep, but i didn't blame you. i could never blame you. i had told you that was fine and i was going to miss you. i gave you a goodnight kiss and watched you walk away to your own house, promising to text in the morning.

the summer after our first year of college, we were nineteen. i met you at the train station and we kissed right there. you picked me up and twirled me around and we were happy. my parents fought that night, you know? they fought so big and so loud that i could hear it from the roof. once they were asleep i called and you came over, climbed right up from the porch to sit next to me while i cried. i never told you what was wrong but i knew that wasn't the first time they had fought like that. you told me you loved me. you told me you were positive now. we were nineteen and sad, but we really had each other.

you comforted me when we were twenty. my parents got divorced and i didn't feel so welcome at my home anymore when on college breaks. you let me stay in the apartment you recently started renting, and we would go visit your parents for the couple days. your parents were always so kind to me, i really loved them as my own. your mother hugged me in that kitchen where you first kissed me, and told me i was always welcome there. you thought we were only making dinner then.  
we were the most domestic things when i was at your apartment. we cooked dinner together and washed dishes together. we took walks in the park and sat in silence holding each other's hands. you told me you got the job you'd been hoping for then. god did we celebrate that night. we crowded your living room with our closest friends, and we laughed and drank.

the night that we went out with our friends, we were twenty-one. we crammed into cars and raced down an empty street outside of town. we played all night. we felt free and alive. suddenly it seemed like we were seventeen again with no responsibilities. we had nowhere to be and nobody expecting anything from us. i danced on the top of your car to a tune nobody else heard. you sat by the fire and we all played music. one of our friends had a guitar and we all sang, laughing at each other when it was bad. you told me that you wish that moment would never end.

at twenty-two we were stupidly in love. we always had been i guess but i never noticed it until then. there was no doubt in my mind that this was it for us. we went out for our sixth year anniversary and you looked so perfect sitting by the ocean under the moonlight. we walked on the beach and threw sand at each other, chasing one another and gathering pretty shells because i loved them so much. you told me that you always wanted this, and you thanked me for giving you my love. i was the lucky one though. i was lucky to have you, not the other way around.

we graduated from college when we were twenty-three. we finished our programs and we were officially free from school. we celebrated like no other then. my ceremony was the day after yours but i still traveled to see you at yours. then i brought you back with me so we could attend mine the next day. it was two am and we were lying in bed staring at each other in the dark when you asked me to move in with you.

everything was amazing when we were twenty-four. we had great jobs and we lived together happier than ever. we went out on the weekends with our high school friends that somehow stuck around. we watched them grow and fall in love. we gave advice and helped as the group grew up together. we were out just walking around like normal in the little park behind your apartment when you kissed me softly. it was then that you asked me to marry you.

we were due to get married when we were twenty-five. i loved you more than anything, just the same as you loved me. i had started talking to my parents again. we really wanted them at the wedding. we even adopted a dog, don't you remember? she was a tiny little thing when we got her but she quickly grew into a lapdog in a large dogs body. she was your baby and we were all happy together.

i was twenty-five when i got a call saying you had passed away.

it was a week from our wedding day, can you believe that? of course you can you were the one to have experienced it. a mugging gone wrong, they had said. you had been picking up the wedding rings to give to your best friend for safe keeping when it happened. they think that the man had tried to take the rings as well from you and you refused.

i've never cried harder than i did that night. not when you told me we were going to different schools, not when my parents got divorced. the bed was big and cold that night. i was so lonely. i curled up in your clothes and laid on your side of the bed. eventually our dog made her way in and curled up with me as i sobbed. that was the first night i didn't kick her off the bed.

your best friend had to help me leave after your wake. i refused to leave your body. i just sat with your mother and cried. we both lost someone important to us. we both lost you. everyone knew me as "the love of your life" and i cried more every time i heard that.

my best friend had to drag me out of bed the next day for your funeral. they asked me to give your eulogy and i couldn't even cry during it thankfully. i was all dried out. completely numb. i talked and talked. i told them about how you were the greatest person i've ever known. how we were together for nine years despite being so young. i did my best to tell them how good of a person you were but i don't think i did you justice.

our dog misses you too, you know? she'll look out the window and i think she's waiting for you to come home. she sleeps in your spot on the couch. she curls up right where you used to lay and whine softly. sometimes i'll start crying because something reminded me of you but she'll be right there and she'll comfort me and give me something solid to keep my grip on reality. 

eventually it won't hurt so much but i know i'll never forget you. i'll never find a love like you. i want to hate you. i want to hate you for dying, for leaving me like this on my own. but i can't. i could never hate you. i will never find somebody like you, because you always have been, and you always will be, the best thing to ever happen to me.

i was twenty-six and there was no 'we' anymore. i was alone with an engagement ring and a dog, waking up cold and alone at night, coming home and expecting to see you sitting there. but you never were. and i would remember that you were gone. and i would wish for that moment, that night when we were twenty-one, would have never ended as well.


End file.
